Life is really funny about the way it turns out. You can plan out how you want it all to go, but how often does it really happen that way? I can remember being a little girl, thinking my mom was so old when she got married and had children. She was married at 26, had my sister at 28, and then had me at 30. Here I am at 27 and the farthest thing from my mind is getting married and having children. Of course, I can’t wait until the day when I am blessed enough to have a wonderful husband and some little ones, but I also can wait. I’ve spent my life planning out what I wanted. I went to college thinking I was going to take on the world of physical therapy. Nope. I ended up graduating with my BS in psychology. I went to graduate school thinking I would end up as a licensed counselor. Nope. I decided I wanted to be a nurse instead. I moved to Northern Virginia with the notion that David was the man I would spend my life with. Well, nope to that either. I wonder why I planned at all. I planned out my life, just to have it constantly change.
We really don’t know what the world has in mind for us. Its impossible to know. I’ve given up planning out every little detail of how my life is supposed to go. I figure I can avoid any disappointment that way. I can be pleasantly surprised at the many blessings I have instead. Don’t get me wrong, I still plan a little bit. I do intend to begin and finish nursing school. I’ve always had it in my mind that I want to work in the ER. Thats not set in stone. I will allow that to be decided as I move along. But for now, thats all I have planned. I don’t want to deny myself any joy, or any experience, because it didn’t fit into my original plan. Theres so many great things that have come from living without a plan. When David and I broke up, I thought I would enjoy time being very independent. To an extent, thats been true. I’ve come a long way in the time we have been apart. But I never planned on meeting anyone in particular, or spending time with any particular guy. But I did. And thats been one unplanned surprise after another. At this point, that situation still remains unplanned. If you’re not having fun, then whats the point?
We can’t sit and plan out all the moments we hope to have. They just have to happen. You don’t wake up planning out when you will laugh during the day, or when you might get mad. So why should we plan at all? If it feels right, then it must be right. So far, I think I’m headed in a great direction. Going down the right road, if you will. But really, I have no clue if the road will curve, or take a sharp turn. I just have to wait and see.